The vagabond ways of life

Life seldom unfolds evenly. There are euphoric highs and abysmal lows. There are peaks and troughs. That is how each journey is meant to be. We take the rough with the smooth. There are days you wish you hadn’t woken up at all and days that feel like a nightmare from start to finish. And then there are days when we seem to cruise smoothly sans a hitch. There are days when we have it all going for us and days when our inner world and the one around us in crumbling into pieces without us being able to do anything at all and just amble on helplessly.

But demanding and disgruntled as we human beings are we only want to question the bad days and the dark days and seldom seem to raise any questions when the going is easy. We don’t realize life is no buffet spread where we choose and cherry pick what we want and how we feel. Instead life has its own menu and serves us its own varied spread which we’ve got to relish all the way, even if it isn’t always to our taste. Well some of us do think life owes us a lot. Sorry to disappoint you. It doesn’t owe us anything. Only we owe it to life and ourselves to gracefully accept all that comes our way and keep going. All moments are ephemeral and shall dissolve at the touch of time. Both good and bad will always touch us. The tough and the easy shall always follow each other around. Each moment, each incident has meaning and lessons that come with it. The prerogative is ours to draw the right kind of lessons and move on. The irony is uncertainty of what the future holds for us is disconcerting about life when the going is good and the same can be a source of comfort and solace on a not so smooth day.

In the cocoon of words

Between the dredges of freedom

And the chains of security

Between life’s stagnant ways

And rapidly changing days

Between transience

And permanence

In the folds of cynicism

And the circle of hope

In the euphoric peaks

And the abysmal troughs

Floating amidst dreams

And dragging through reality

In the companionable silences of faith

And disconcerting conspiratorial

Whispers of doubt

Floating in joy

And soaking in sadness

Amidst the gossamers of togetherness

And the tatters of loneliness

It was words that kept my sanity

It was only words that set me free

Spilling over

 

Every statue can crumble

Every wall has cracks

That we try so hard to conceal

Every eye has unshed tears

That well up and flood the heart

Each smile has sadness

Outlining its edges

That we try so hard to rein

Boiling rage beneath

A calm veneer that

We struggle to contain

Yet the cup of forbearance

will flow over some day

When you’ve borne

Life with stoicism

For too long

You’re cries

will echo on

Notes to my impetuous self

This blog is  officially dying and needs resuscitation now! Its been languishing in neglect. I haven’t written in ages. Either words and thoughts simply evaporate or I get so caught up in life’s madness that it just slips into oblivion. It isn’t really by choice that I don’t pause to pen down what’s on my mind. In fact to write and express myself is an overpowering need. I’m a spectator and watch life from my quiet corner, drawing my own inferences, jotting them down on paper or on my blog. This space is sacrosanct for me for here I can say all that I won’t muster guts to say in real life. Yet I seem to have pushed it into a corner allowing myself to become procrastinator.

As the year starts I have only one resolve that is to write more often and to write stuff that makes sense. Resolutions otherwise are passe for me, for they fly right out of the window in the very first fortnight of the year. However there are things I know but don’t practice so I’d rather write them down here to constantly remind myself of these all year-long. Let me start 1) Good things and all that counts always takes time, so be patient and stop jumping the gun when it comes to conversations and ideas. Don’t anticipate too much. Life is fair, but only if we give it time to unfold.

2) Don’t put your foot into your mouth.  Keep silent if you have nothing sensible to say.

3) Abandon your sweet tooth and penchant for emotional eating. It’s going to be a source of much misery and unwanted inches around the waist  as you inch closer towards the thirties this year.

4) Let go of all that you no longer need : redundant emotions, dead relationships, putting too much onus on how people assess you and zany airy ideas about the world at large

5) Learn to confront your demons, your darkness and learn to confront people when you disagree with them. You can’t live life in the avoidance mode.

6) Being restless for change is good, but don’t let the present moment turn into a saga of longing for the future. Live in the moment.

7) Quit allowing people to prick you .Stop being  ready to burst into tears at the silliest of excuses. It’s often not what they say but how you interpret it.

8)  Stop thinking in retrospect of all the witty retorts you could have made in an argument. Give back as good as you get at the right time.

9) Being content is good, until it starts to tilt towards complacency.

10) Trust your intuition but don’t allow it to colour your judgement of people and situations.

11) Spontaneity is good, but it isn’t the same as being mindlessly impulsive.

12) Every once in a while step out of the mindless rut and routine to look at your life objectively from a distance. Make time to reflect, ruminate and re-assess.

I can rant endlessly about all that I need to learn and remember but for sake of sanity I’ll stop right here and come back in a few days to write something more structured perhaps.

Another year…

Another year ambles on

Punctuated with somber silence

Splashed with varied shades

Flooded with memories

And moments that shall melt into oblivion

 

Another year flows through

The river of time

Rushing back once

In a while in  nooks

And crannies of dismembered thoughts

Another year brimming

With love

Aching with longing

Another year asking

Of us to flow

With the waves of time

The Gremlin in our mind

We amble

On endlessly

We run with all

We’ve got

We hide

In darker corners

We drown ourselves

In noise

We’ll do anything

It takes to escape

The gremlins

The monsters of our making

The niggling voices

Those swallow us like a vortex

And engulf our shaky beings

Until we

Gather all our might

Bracing up to

Put up a fight

With all it ever takes

And suddenly

The gnarling gremlins

And menacing monsters

Seem to fade into oblivion

Dancing away into darkness

Rocky Road Ahead

The road you chose

Is a lonely one

The Twists and turns are sharp

There are bends and

Boulders lined on the way

You might encounter fellow travellers

Who walk with you a distance

And diverge to make their paths

The road will get rockier

There will be storms to conquer

Don’t look back in nostalgia

Don’t pause in fear

Don’t slow down to withdraw

Just keep walking

Walk till you see the beacon

Walk till you learn to live in the moment

Walk till you know the transience of life

Walk till your darkness melts into light