Dealing with Disillusionment

A philosophical viewpoint has always been my shelter and shade from life’s lows and unexpected turns. It has given me the space to ruminate and reflect rather than react spontaneously and has often been my anchor in the worst of times. Perhaps that’s what forces me to take stock when life doesn’t pan out as I hope it would. Often looking back I realize, sometimes being disillusioned and disappointed does you a world of good. Yes you heard me right. I’m not propagating self-flagellation or wallowing in the oceans of self-pity and cynicism. But somehow the twists and turns on the turf of life have taught me that every once in a while being disappointed with what life brings you, can alter your perspective. It forces you to take stock of what you’ve been doing and how you can do things better. It only inspires you on to approach life’s quandaries more creatively. Often we fall into the trap of being a tad too complacent, often only a disappointment can shake you out of your stupor and prevents you from being too self-assured and smug. We all need the blows to temper us down, bring us back to reality. Not to say we shouldn’t let them bring us down but they can certainly keep us grounded. So after all, there is an upside to everything that happens. We see it only when we want to see it.

A note to my younger impulsive self

As I touched the third decade last week, there was this incessant need to take stock, look back and reflect on all the foolish notions I held so dearly. I can’t help and laugh at how impressionable and wide-eyed I was.

If there is one thing I would want to tell my younger impetuous self it would be not to invest time in equations and relationships that are a one-way street. You can’t keep giving. Most relationships need to be mutual to last long enough. You can’t keep giving without expecting anything in return. We’re all human at the end of the day let us not try to be ascetics when we’re not.

I would also like to tell myself to be more discerning of people and situations. Don’t look after you’ve leap. It is better to take your steps slowly and steadily.

Go with the flow. Irrespective how well you treat others, you can’t accept the same in return. Know where to draw the line for yourself and for others.

Idealism is good, it might fade with the touch of time, but never let enthusiasm and zeal to try anything new fade with it.

Most of our limitations, all that holds us back looms large in our head. Half the battles we fight are the ones we fight with ourselves. We can be our own best allies and worst enemies. It all boils down to how we perceive ourselves and our circumstances.

Don’t waste your time being self-conscious and worrying about what other people will think of you. Immaterial and irrespective of how hard you try they will like you or detest you based on their own perceptions and prejudices. Don’t try too hard to win other people’s approval. Try instead to do what you love, be what you want. You can’t live a path someone else has charted out for you. It is a sure shot way to fall flat on one’s face.

Being sensitive doesn’t mean being thin-skinned for ourselves. It is being sensitive to other people’s needs to. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Speak to others as you would like to be spoken to.

I can rant on endlessly, for the sake of time I’ll pause for now and perhaps come back later to rant some more 🙂

 

 

 

 

Longing for Joy

In fits and starts

In scattered parts

In fragments

In figments

In moments

In fleeting longings

In deep desire

In raging fire

In silence of the soul

In transience

In permanence

they visit us

fleetingly

Joy, hope

and happiness

We owe them

some space

We owe it to

ourselves

A quiet corner
A room

in our hearts

to spread their wings

and settle down